My Notebook

21 Things to remember

2010-12-19T13:30:00.007+07:00

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never "have it all together."
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. He or she who laughs......lasts.
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming....not what was.
19. Success is getting up one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong.....don't go with the flow.

Author unknown

Baby , don't you break my heart

2010-03-03T16:51:00.005+07:00

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Am I mistaken do you say,
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

(Chorus)

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

(Chorus)

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

(Bridge)
Youe would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home thinking that we're together
I wanted our love to last forever

words by Vonda Shepard
music by Vonda Shepard & James Newton Howard

Dedicated to My SSA Jan..where ever you are..

Can't stop loving you

2010-01-25T08:47:00.004+07:00

So you're leaving in the morning on the early train
I could say everything's alright
And I could pretend and say goodbye
Got your ticket
Got your suitcase
Got your leaving smile
I could say that's the way it goes
And I could pretend and you won't know
That I was lying

Cause I can't stop loving you
No I can't stop loving you
No I won't stop loving you
Why should I?

We took a taxi to the station, not a word was said
And I saw you walk across the road
For maybe the last time I don't know
Feeling humble
I heard a rumble
On the railway track
And when I hear that whistle blow
I'll walk away and you won't know
That I'll be crying

Cause I can't stop loving you
No I can't stop loving you
No I won't stop loving you
Why should I?

Even try ……I'll always be here by your side
Why, why, why ……I never wanted to say goodbye
Why even try ….I'm always here if you change, change your mind

So you 're leaving in the morning on the early train
I could say everything's alright
And I could pretend and say goodbye
But that would be lying

Cause I can't stop loving you
No I can't stop loving you
No I won't stop loving you
Why should I even try?

25 January 2010 ..for you the one i love with my heart and soul who will flight on Tuesday morning 26 Jan 2010 . Safe flight SSA jan ...

Keep Walking

2009-09-09T21:00:00.001+07:00

I wonder why do you point somebody’s story to be yours ? While in reality it has nothing to do with you. It’s funny to me. But it’s life, that there always people out there who don’t like to see me happy, smile, good or achieve your progress. But I stay strong as always and keep walking even though I walk through fire because I always have love through with and one thing for sure no one can defeat me.

HAVING SEX OR MAKING LOVE

2009-09-09T20:49:00.002+07:00

A friend told me that he never love his wife even though they have been married for more than 15 years. It raised a big question in my mind he never love his wife but have 6 children. It doesn’t make sense. If he doesn’t love his wife why didn’t he refuse to marry his wife? Why he enjoyed to beside her, below her and on the top of her ? How come they have the children? It’s the question that needs a lifetime experience to be able to answer and to understand.
There is having sex and there is making love, both involved the body but very different.
Having sex is for pleasure and doesn’t need an emotional bond. This one can do almost anywhere with anybody. When a man has ejaculation it’s a moment where he experience total silence inside. It’s difficult for the man to have no mind talking. He likes it very much so he takes every moment he can to have that experience.
On the other hand making love is the meeting of two souls and it’s not necessary to having intercourse. It’s God’s gift to mankind but it only comes when it wants too, you can not demand it when u want it.

Thank you to my friend in Yogya who allowed me to posting this story.

Thank you so much , I'm sorry , goodbye

2009-04-11T12:17:00.006+07:00

I will leave you to find the sun is shining out there,

your shadow might be still follow.

But it won't bother me anymore,

coz it's just a remembrance from the past.

My Choice..

2009-04-10T10:21:00.005+07:00

I choose to love you in silence,

for in silence I find no rejection.

I choose to adore you in my loneliness,

for in my loneliness no one owns you but me..."

The Last time

2009-03-27T18:48:00.002+07:00

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.There will always be another day
to say our "I love you's,"And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me,""Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Author Unknown

What If

2009-03-27T18:33:00.002+07:00

What if ..
God couldn't take the time to bless us today because we couldn't take the time to thank Him yesterday?
What if ..
God decided to stop leading us tomorrow because we didn't follow Him today?
What if ..
we never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when God sent the rain?
What if..
God didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day?
What if ..
God took away his messge because we failed to listen to the messenger?
What if ..
God didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin?
What if ..
the door tof the church was closed because we did not open the door of our heart?
What if..
God stopped loving a caring for us because we failed to love and care for others?
What if..
God would not hear us today because we would not listen to him yesterday?
What if ..
God answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service?
What if ..
God met our needs the way we give Him our lives?

I'm Gonna miss you

2009-03-23T17:46:00.004+07:00

I knew it from the start
You would break my heart
But still I had to play this painful part
You wrapped me 'round your little bitty finger
With your magic smile
You kept me hangin' on your lovers cross awhile
You put a spell on me
You took my breath away
But there was nothing I could do
To make you stayI'm gonna miss you
All the love I feel for you
Nothing could make me change
My point of view
I'm gonna miss ya baby ...
Given all the love I feel for you
Couldn't make you change your point of view
You're leaving
Now I'm sitting here wasting my time
I just don't know what I should do
It's a tragedy for me to see
The dream is over
And I never will forget the day we met
I'm gonna miss you
Like a honeybee, you took the best of me
Now I can't erase those memories
Like a fairytale, you were so unreal
You left a scar that's so hard to heal
When you had a taste of paradise
The cold earth can feel as cold as ice
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you
I miss you

taken from milli vanili
dedicated to someone out there ...thank you for what we've been through..I'm gonna miss you

I deserve to smile

2009-03-19T18:18:00.004+07:00

This is the feeling of wanting something that you can’t have.
Can you imagine , I met him last Sunday, we talked, we laughed, he kissed me and hugging me and it was so wonderful but suddenly He said now we become a friend , I couldn’t believe after what we've been through I want to ask the reason but I choke d..I walked but don't know where to turn to..I wish he would took me to the home and gave me a kiss but I didn't hear it from his mouth , I though he would chased after me but he didn't and let me got in to the bus. It was the last night we met, the last time he kissed me and hugged me.
Now I really don’t know where to start, just follow my step to find a place to easy the pain and let God take away my burden..It was so heavy and really hurt me. I wish God come and take me to His arm and carry me until I fall asleep.
I know you will laugh and though I’m m a big child, but if you never feel this feeling and never been in my shoes you will never know how its feel when you lose someone that you really love so deeply. it's like a half of your heart taken away and the half that left can’t live without it.I never believe until now but I was very appreciate on his confession. I never regret for being with him and came to my life even though just a couple months. I will never forget the day we met and every single thing that we've done together and loving him is the finest hour in my life.
I know it wasn’t easy for him to say the truth. I believe he never lie and cheated me and play with my heart. I know he didn't want it happen to us and it also hurt him. I know he loved me but he didn’t want to make me more suffer once he leaves.
Maybe we will never meet again even though he said he will take care of me and by my side but it just a promise that he will never full fill. . He just want to comfort me and after I recovery he will left me forever.
I don't know , my dear how to rebuild my self . It's like disaster inside.
I thankful to God for answer my prayer. When I asked him for a man who can fill my life, He sent him to me and it never cross in mind to have a bf like him, who has different culture , language and principles things . Being with him has raise many critics from people around me. But I don't care , love made me blind. Maybe it sound is naive for you to trust some one.
Since I met at the first time I knew he is different with most of men I met.

I really love him and no one can replace him. He is the best I ever had but since there's no more me and him, it's time to let him go so I can be free and live my life how it should be. It's so sick and tired through the pain but I have to learn again to crawl, walk and rebuild my self. I believe if God bring me to It He will bring me through it. Maybe I lose the game but not the lesson to be learned because life is a journey not a destiny.

I'm gonna smile because I deserve to.

CONFESSION

2009-03-17T17:32:00.003+07:00

“ I couldn’t sleep ,” that was I told you this morning through the phone.
“ me also, I woke up early this morning and need a medicine to make me sleep during the night,” you said .
“ when will you return to Simelue ? I need to talk with you, “
“ why don’t you talk to me now, through the phone ? “
I was silent and couldn’t say anything.
“ Please tell me, I am worried about you,”
I keep silent and then hang up the phone.
You tried to call me back but I don’t have any courage to answer .
“ if you don’t tell me I will not meet you until you don’t say it. Please tell me, otherwise I will not even call you, I told you. That’s it. From now on. No talks, no meeting if you don’t say”
I fall silent upon reading your sms.
“ what do you mean that since last night we are friend . I mean nothing for you after what we have been through ? and what you’ve said just a bullshit ? you lie to me and cheated me ,”
My message was sent.
“ I never lie to you but please understand. You want me more than just friend and I want more from you. You have some limits and I also have limits. You are not free and I am also not free for some reasons. We love each other but there is no future to be together. I love you, but I can’t promise you marriage and don’t want to lie to you that I will marry you. And I don’t want you to miss your chance. Why should I keep you in hope and cheat you to get something from you and leave you at the end. I don’t like and don’t want to cheat someone. I can’t marry you and its lie if I give you hope, “
“ You lie to me, you just love after my body ,” I cried
“ I don’t want your body. Please understand me. As I said my life is complicated, I hate it but I should continue. I don’t want the situation that we are too close and then I leave you and you will suffer after. Just keep this limit when we are separated then we don’t miss each other too much. I love you, but there is no future. I wish you to make your life, It’s not possible with me. Why you should waste your time with me “
“ If you love me why don’t you fight instead give up ?
“ My dear, I said to you I have limitation. I don’t want to keep you in hope and lie to you and I do nothing at the end. I don’t want to do more with you to get something from you. I want you to be happy when I leave you. If you are a very free girl I didn’t mind. But you are so nice and with good family and reputation, how can I do wrong with you and leave you after. That’s why I don’t keep you in hope. I was thinking at the beginning you can do everything but when I understood you are different, I stop to try more with you as I don’t want to harm you and leave you after. I don’t want you to miss me when I leave but you will remain in my heart always. I will keep support you and take care of you,”

I drop into chair and cry on. This is the feeling of wanting something that you can't have...

The Hardest Time

2009-03-17T16:11:00.003+07:00

There was a time in my life
I lost a grip, fall and hit the floor.
I try to crawl, stand up and walk away but stumble
I wish I could fly away but my wings have broken
It’s so sick and very tired to walk through the pain

I'll cry for you

2009-03-17T15:26:00.003+07:00

never dream that I could fall
But something's come Over me
Now I'm sittin' starin' at the wall
Afraid for my sanity
The sound of your voice
The touch of your skinIt's hauntin' me
I'm still tryin' to come to my senses
But I can't look back
So I'm takin' my chances
I wanna give you my heart give you my soul
I wanna lay in your arms
Never let go
Don't wanna live my life without you
But I know when you're gone
Like a fire needs a spark
Like a fool in the dark
Honey I'll cry for you
Wonderin' why I'm runnin' scared
From what I believe in
I know that love Is just another word
To say what I'm feelin'
For once in my life the future is mine
It's callin' me
I've been searchin' so long for an answer
But it's too late now
So I'm takin' my chances
I wanna give you my heart give you my souL
I wanna lay in your arms
Never let go
Don't wanna live my life without you
But I know when you're gone
Like a fire needs a spark
Like a fool in the dark
Honey I'll cry for you

by europe

11 Things a woman has to know

2009-03-10T16:06:00.002+07:00

Ada berbagai pendekatan yang digunakan pria untuk memikat seorang wanita kedalam percumbuan atau hubungan sex dan sering sekali wanita-wanita tergoda dan masuk kedalam jebakan pria hingga akhirnya dengan mudahnya kaum wanita menyerahkan milik berharganya.Beberapa pendekatan umum yang digunakan pria antara lain :

1. Pendekatan “cinta sejati"
Suatu penelitian menunjukan bahwa kata-kata yang paling sering digunakan ialah “ Kalau kau mencintaiku, kau akan mengijinkan aku “. Para pria telah menggunakan yang satu ini sejak permulan waktu. Tetapi jika ia mendapatkan yang diinginkannya, bukti apa yang anda miliki bahwa ia mencintai anda setelah semuanya berlalu ?. Biasanya pria yang menggunakan aturan ini bersifat perlahan tapi pasti yang cenderung bertahan sampai mendapatkan apa yang diinginkannya. Jawaban yang baik untuk aturan ini adalah “ Jika engkau mencintaiku, kau tidak akan memintanya .”

2.Pendekatan pujian
“ Tubuhmu begitu menawan sampai-sampai aku tak bisa menahan diri !” atau “ you are so beautiful” atau “ you are so wonderful “”. Satu penelitian menunjukan bahwa pria yang sedang birahi menilai wanita dalam gambar lebih menarik daripada pria yang sedang tidak birahi ketika memandang gambar yang sama. Lebih besar kebutuhan seksual, wanita itu akan semakin menarik baginya.

3. Pendekatan situasional.
“ Setiap orang melakukanya “ merupakan aturan yang digunakan oleh orang banyak yang mempunyai etika sesuai dengan pengaruh situasi. Pria dengan moralitas baru ini mencoba memberi kesan ada sesuatu dengan wanita yang tidak mau menjalani kehidupan seperti kebanyakan orang. “ Masa sudah berubah,” begitu kata mereka . “Hiduplah di jaman ini dan jangan menoleh ke belakang.”Para pria memberikan tekanan ini agar wanita mulain ragu apakah ia benar-benar telah ketinggalan jaman.

4.Pendekatan SImpati.
“ Gadis bodoh.Tidak ada yang mencintaimu seperti aku. Orangtuamu tidak bahagia tetapi aku akan menunjukkan cinta yang sesungguhnya, sekarang, di belakang kursi mobil ini.” Kapanpun simpati menjadi motif utama, hati-hati. Cara ini mengandung bahaya bagi wanita yang berasal dari keluarga yang tidak bahagia atau yang tidak pernah menjalani hubungan dekat dengan ayah atau ibunya. Orang seperti ini paling rapuh ketika ia menyesali diri. Anda menginginkan laki-laki untuk memahami anda, tentu saja, tetapi pastikan ia memahami lebih banyak mengenai kehidupan daripada hal ini.

5.Pendekatan besar mulut
“ Cewek-cewek antri menunggu giliran berkencan denganku. Engkau beruntung sekali.”
Orang ini mungkin tampan, tinggi, atletis, pandai, berkepribadian, dan terkenal. Ia memiliki kemampuan membuat anda merasa istimewa, namun jika wanita tidak berpengalaman dan memiliki sifat rendah diri yang kompleks maka mereka akan jatuh.

6.Pendekatan logika.
“ Bukankah kita akan segera menikah.” “ Siapa yang membutuhkan selembar kertas untuk mengesahkan cinta seperti yang kita miliki ?”” Ini merupakan pengalaman yang baik yang akan bermanfaat bagi masa depan kita nanti.” Cara ini timbul begitu perlahan sehingga seringkali tidak dikenali. Ini muncul lebih sering pada hubungan jangka panjang , yang pasti, dengan seorang laki-laki yang umumnya merupakan seorang yang baik yang anda kenal sebagai orang yang “tepat” bagi anda,Jawaban yang baik terhadap pendekatan ini : “ Kalau-kalau kita berubah pikiran terhadapm satu sama lain, aku tidak ingin engkau merasa mempunyai kewajiban terhadapku.” Lalu bersiaplah untuk dip rotes !Lebih dari 33 % gadis yakin bahwa ketika pertama kali melakukan seks mereka akan menikahi laki-laki itu –tetapi hanya sedikit yang berhasil. Hanya 7% laki-laki aktif secara seksual yang didata yang berpikir bahwa mereka akan menikahi wanita yang mereka ajak tidur. Ambil pilihan anda.

7.Pendekatan yang tidak normal.
“ Ada apa denganmu? Apakah kau berhati dingin atau frigid ? “” Engkau tidak ingin di kenal sebagai ketimun dingin bukan?” Setiap wanita normal menginginkan hubungan seksual yang sempurna dengan suaminya kelak, tetapi laki-laki ini menanamkan keraguan akan kemampuanya untuk berfungsi secara seksual. Ia ingin tahu apakah ia normal atau tidak diinginkan. Laki-laki yang menggunakan pendekatan seperti ini percaya bahwa wanita adalah sebuah “benda” yang dapat “ dipergunakan” oleh laki-laki. Beberapa kemungkinannya, laki-laki yang menagnut cara ini bisa dan akan membuat wanita menjadi dingin. ( ingat, bagi para wanita, bahwwa 99% penyebab ketiadaan nafsu birahi adalah di otak!)

8.Pendekatan intelektual.
Disini sang laki-laki mengembangkan “pemikiran” rumit mengenai seks. Ia tidak “melakukan” apapun pada awalnya-hanya mengajak anda terbiasa mengungkapkan masalah seks. Ia adalah seorang teman bicara yang hebat yang mampu mempesona anda dengan kalimat dna gagasan.Tujuannya adaalh mununtun anda pada akibat alamiah dari peristiwa-peristiwa. Diskusi semacam ini bisa menuntun kea rah seksualitas dan sangat merangsang.

9.Pendekatan Ancaman.
“ Jika tidak mau, aku akan berkencan dengan orang lain.”” Jika engkau tidak tertarik, aku tidak akan kesulitan mencari seseorang yang mau.” Laki-laki ini berharap ia dapat mengintimidasi anda dengan memberi kesan bahwa jika menolak, anda hanya akan duduk di rumah menyendiri sepanjang hidup.Katakan pada orang seperti ini bahwa anda akan memperkenalkanya diantara sahabat-sahabat anda, kemudian carilah seseorang yang akan menghargai anda sesuai dengan standar anda.

10.Pendekatan janji-janji
“Engkau tidak akan hamil.” “ Walaupun hamil, aku akan merawatmu dan menikahimu.” Dibawah tekanan keinginan seksual , beberapa lelaki akan membuat janji-janji yang tidak akan mereka tepati.Wanita akan terjebak dalam janji manis ini karena mereka sangat ingin mempercayai apa yang dikatakannya. Girls, gunakan logika anada. Pikirkan itu.Apakah mungkin anda hamil?Apakah ia akan merawat anda jika anda hamil ? Apa yang dimaksudkan dengan “merawatmu” ? Apakah ia berada pada posisi untik menikahi anda?

11.Pendekatan rasa bersalah.
“Aku begitu tertekan, aku tidak snaggup untuk menahannya! Engkau membuatku horni. Kau jangan berhenti sekarang!Aku harus mendapatkanya!” “Tidak,” ia tidak hanya “ harus” mendapatkannya. “ Jika ia tidak melakukan pelepasan seks saat itu juga, tidak ada hal buruk akan terjadi padanya. Ia tidak akan dengan tiba-tiba mendapat serangan jantung atau hernia atau menderita kerusakan otak. Hal terburuk yang bisa terjadi adalah bahwa ia harus berlari mengitari blok sekali atau dua kali sebelum ia bisa pulang ke rumah, tetapi itu juga tidak akan melukainya

Hal-hal di atas tidak bermaksud memberikan pandangan negative terhadap kaum pria. Mereka itu benar-benar hebat . Kecendrungan mereka ditanamkan oleh Allah, tetapi ini merupakan dorongan yang kuat. Perasaan kuat dalam diri seorang pria selamanya untuk mengejar dan beriusaha menaklukkan. Dan kenyataanya tetap bahwa si wanitalah yang paling terluka –melalui kehamilan, ya , tapi juga secara emosional. Perlakuan seks merupakan pelepasan fisik bagi laki-laki, ini merupakan pengalaman emosi yang dalam bagi perempuan. Ketika sedang “turn on”, laki-laki cenderung mengatakan apa saja untuk mendapatkan apa yang mereka inginkan. Mereka akan membuat komitmen, membuat janji-janji, dengan maksud sesungguhnya pada saat itu untuk mendapatkan apa yang mereka inginkan. So, Watch out, gals!!!

Di sadur dari the complete courtship

Only time will tell....

2009-02-19T18:48:00.001+07:00

From the first time I saw you , I’m so glad to be around you…
You came in to my heart when my whole life was lonely,
like an angel in disguise that hypnotizes me with your magic words .
That was my heart was looking for,
laughter in the rain feeling like a fool in love again.
I love the magic of your spell. You gave me the joy .
My heart is like a singing bird.
Are you the man that God send from heaven?
Only time will tell......

Filling Your Love cup

2009-02-13T08:03:00.003+07:00

Down deep in your heart, there’s a cup. Not of fine china, silver or gold. But a cup of feeling and emotion that when filled, makes life worth living.
The love cup is like an emotional barometer that can predicted behavior. When it’s full and overflowing, you become a loving person. It’s as if your life is so filled with love you can’t hold it all. You want to share those good feelings with others. But when your cup is drained, your world turns negative; criticism, sarcasm, guilt, and bitterness rush in to fill the void. You have nothing but bitter gall to share with others.
How do you filling your love cup? Here is an easy way: Just remember five characteristics: care, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, and trust.
CARE
Care is love an action; Attitude plus behavior. It’s reaching out to the helpless, the down and out; those who are in need, no matter how unattractive, sick, or obstinate. The person who gives care must make the helpless feel accepted and even desirable. If not, that person’s self worth is likely to suffer
There are three dimensions of care:
a. Time. Care takes time. Perhaps that is why so many people resent giving care to others. One the care is give; it often must be repeated again and again. You never quite finished.
b. Touch. Touch is important at every age. It symbolizes desirability. Keep “in touch”; it’s an important aspect of care
c. Thoughtfulness. Whereas concern for physical well being is taken for granted, concern for psychological well being must not be neglected.
Caring for the physical and emotional needs of others is a prime component of love; perhaps the most active, surely the most basic.
RESPECT
Respect implies consideration for the right of another to be unique; free to make age appropriate decision. Force and manipulation have no part in respectful relationship .Respect should not depend upon whether it is deserved. Respect after basic care sets the stage for a loving relationship.
ACCEPTENCE
Loving another person is a though job. Especially if he or she isn’t pretty, good, or clever. It’s hard, but important lesson to learn to accept a person who is different or whose personality clashes with yours. The temptation is try to remake that person before filling the love cup. Yet, acceptance- the unconditional love of others- is the basis for self. Acceptance is a powerful manipulative tool. Some people crave acceptance; they will do virtually anything for it, even accept physical pain and psychological abuse.
Many people live in relationship stepped with conditions, each using and manipulating the other to meet their own needs. Each marching to the others tunes - never fully free to be themselves. Each slaves to the acceptance they crave from other. Don’t misuse the power of acceptance. If you love unconditionally, your loved one can experience the freedom of being truly accepted and of being truly himself. He will never feel like a slave.
The need for acceptance is often so strong that it is difficult to be opened honest with your loved ones. What about your spotted past? Would they still love you? What about your doubts and dream? Would they laugh at you? For most of us Self disclosure is hardly worth the risk. It’s better to keep out sight out the darker part of our lives rather than the risk the rejection of a loved one. But we pay the price. We can never be fully ourselves. We can never feel truly comfortable. We can never feel accepted as long as we must hide part of ourselves. This leads further to isolation, conflict, and empty love cups.
FORGIVENESS
The essence of forgiveness is accepting that no one is faultless. We all make mistakes. Why should misjudgment, carelessness, or even spite disrupt a relationship and empty our love cups? They need not, if the person who errs is forgiven
There should never be a doubt whether or not to forgive someone who has wronged us. Forgiveness should not be conditional upon repentance. Complete forgiveness involves two people, the offender and the offended, but the process of forgiveness may start with either.
At all times forgiveness should be given freely, reconciliation sought, and the incident forgotten. But sometimes forgiveness is pretense. There is a lot of false forgiveness being practiced among us. False forgiveness is pretending you are forgiving when you are really not- it’s a way of sabotaging the process. Instead of filling a love cup, false forgiveness empties it.
There are five steps to complete forgiveness: recognizing the problem, accepting personal responsibility for your behavior, having a repentant and forgiving attitude, working toward reconciliation, and forgetting.
TRUST
Trust is an inherent part of a loving relationship. It sets the loved one free to be a person, to make decisions, accept consequences, and grow toward his personal potentials.
But trust has two dimensions, inextricably linked: trusting and being trustworthy. You can’t trust a person who isn’t trustworthy. Nor you can prove you are trustworthy unless someone takes the risk to trust you.

Love is easy to talk about, but difficult to practice. Love sustains your hope for something better. With love you can feel good about yourself. Without love there is no hope. Without love you will feel worthless
When you give your love, you give time and attention and filling another’s love cup as a goal worth striving for. When your love cup is filled, may your love overflow to touch those who live touch your own. By experiencing your love, may the unloved become loved and may the lovable be even more loving.

Taken from filling your love cup by Kay Kuzma

Embarrassing Story

2008-10-22T19:07:00.000+07:00

You’ll never guess what happened to Anita last week. She went to Nias Island with her husband and our boss for a business trip. To kill the time during field work she took a movie dvd from Wendy’s room. After dinner she invited our boss to watch the movie. When they watched the movie, suddenly they were surprised by the scenes on the movie. Apparently it is porn movie and she didn’t check before she left. When her husband realized, he turned off the movie. She was so embarrassed.

Does Marriage Bring happiness?

2008-10-22T18:49:00.000+07:00

When I was sick and had to get hospitalized at the hospital for couple days, members of the church where I worship came over to visit me. Beside the wishes to get well soon they also advised me to get married. “You are turning 30, are good looking, have a good job. It’s the time to have a life companion. What are you waiting for?,” said Mrs. Hutagalung. “Don’t be fastidious, consider your age,” another added
I have been hearing those questions above many times. It’s not only addressed to me but also to women who are turning 30 and haven’t married yet.
Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and the world to come.
God made the woman because it’s not good for man to be alone.
He made from the man a woman, to be a companion and helpmeet for him, to be one with him, to cheer, encourage, and bless him, he in his turn needs to be her strong helper. All who enter into a matrimonial relation with a holy purpose- the husband to obtain the pure affection of woman’s heart, the wife to soften and improve her husband’s character and give it completeness - fulfill God’s purpose for them?[1]
Nowadays many women get married without knowing the purpose of marriage. They think that they will have real happiness if they have helpmeet who loves and fulfill their needs.
Marriage is a good and right thing, it is God’s plan for most of His people and there is a joy and blessing in marriage life if it center to God. The final goal of marriage isn’t to make us happy but to glorify God. Women who married with the purpose of find happiness finally will be disappointed; Happiness doesn’t find in marriage; or in human relationship. Joy is only found through the Lord.
God Promised to give what ever we need, and if He knows that husband enable us to give Him more glory, He will provide us a life companion. The real joy can’t be reached by having everything that we think we want, but through choosing to be satisfied and grateful for what God has provided even with or without a life companion.

[1] EGW

THE STRUGGLE

2008-10-20T19:28:00.000+07:00

A teacher was teaching his students on how a caterpillar turns into a beatiful butterfly. He told the students that in the next few hours, the butterfly would struggle to come out of the cocoon, but no one should help it. The teacher left to attend to some other matters.
Meanwhile, the students were waiting anxiously and finally the big moment came. The butterfly began to struggle to get out of the cocoon. On seeing this one of the students took pity and decided to assist the butterfly out of the cocoon against the advise of the teacher. He could not bear to see the butterfly struggle and decide to break the cocoon. Shortly afterwards all the students sere shocked to see that the butterfly had died. When the teacher returned and found out what had happened, he explained to the students that by helping the butterfly, they had actually killed it because the butterfly needed to struggle to help develop and strengthen its wings.
SUCCESS PRINCIPLES
The above story may be simple but it brings a cross a power full message. Struggle and challenges are part and parcel of life, and it help strengthen us to make us stronger so that we can move forward in life. A person who has never struggled is a person who does not known the joy and fun of living ! He will break down the moment he is exposed to struggle and challenges.

I love you simple

2008-10-16T10:16:00.000+07:00

I don't love you as if you were the salt rose, topaz or arrow of carnation that propagate fire; I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
i love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers, and thank to your love , darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you simply, without pride, without problems or pride.
I love you in this way because i don't know any other way of loving.

I will fly

2008-10-16T10:08:00.000+07:00

You know all the things I’ve said, You know all the things that we have done
And things I gave to youthere’s no chance for me to say How precious you are in my life
And you know that is true ,To be with you is all that I need, ‘cause with you my life seems brighter and these are all the things I wanna say,
I will fly into your arms And be with you to the end of time
Why are you so far away, You know it’s very hard for me to get my self close to you ..
You’re the reason why I stay ...You’re the one who can not believe ...Our love will never end .Is it only in my dream ?
You’re the one who can not see this . How could you be so blind . To be with you is all that I need ‘cause with you my life seems brighter And these are all the things I wanna say

Ten2Five

My Prayer

2008-10-12T15:34:00.000+07:00

Lord,
I pray for the man, that will be a part of my life. A man that really love You morethan everything, a man that will take me in the second place of his heart, a man that lives not for himself but for You. Face and physical attraction isn't important. The most important is .. I want a heart that really loves and thirsty of you and have a desire to be like Jesus and he must know for whom and for what he lives, so his life isn't useless,someone that have a wise heart not only a smart brain. A man that not only loves me but also respects me, a man that only can adore me but can warn me when i am wrong. A man that loves me not from my beauty but from my heart. A man that can be my best friend in everything and situation. A man that makes me feel like a women when i beside him. I don't ask for a perfect man, but i look for imperfect man so i can make him perfect in Your eyes. A man that need my support for his strenght , a man that needs my prayer for his life, a man that needs my smile to cover his sadness. A man that needs my love so he can be loved, a man that needs me to make his life perfect, and I also ask ,make me to be a woman that can make him proud, give me a heart that really love You so i could love with Your love, not love him with my love. Give me your gentle spirit, so my beauty not come from my outside but come from You.Give me Your hands that always able to pray for him.give me Your eyes, so i could see many good things in him and not that bad one. Give me Your mouth, that fulfill with Your words of wisdom and encourage, so i could support him everyday. Give me Your lips and i'll smile at him every morning, and i want that when I finally we meet both of us can say : HOW GREAT THOU ART " that You give me some one that can my life perfect. I know that You want me meet at the right time and You will make everything beatiful in Your time.
amen...

Footprints

2008-10-12T15:30:00.001+07:00

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scenes , he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand : one belong to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, He looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about t
“ Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most trouble some time in my life there is only one set footprints .I don’t understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me .”
The Lord reply, “ My son , My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your time of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

Author Unknown